Getting by in the in-between: caring for a loved one while arranging extra care

You’ve already done the hard part. You’ve explored your options and have made the calls, but building a support system and getting the right care in place can take some time. Between appointments and supplemental support, there’s still a lot that you manage, making it important to learn ways to care for your loved one and yourself while additional services line up.

Care while you wait

In the meantime, there are ways you can continue to make your loved one’s and your lives more manageable.

Get More Information

If your loved one has a mental health diagnosis, you can learn more about their condition. This can give you a better sense of what’s going on and ways you can be most helpful in their care. You don’t need to be an expert in their diagnosis to provide expert care, but it helps to know the basics of signs to watch for and ways to keep them more comfortable.

Gain More Skills

Learning about proper methods up front can help save you time and pain. Whether that’s watching a video about how to safely lift someone without injuring yourself or organizing a way to properly track medications given, these skills can help you feel more in control and protect yourself.

Take Note of What You’re Seeing

While you wait for the next appointment, you can note the patterns you’re seeing to inform your loved one’s provider best. Write down if there is a time of day that is the hardest for your loved one, if they are fixated on something you don’t quite understand, or if they are acting differently than usual. Your observations can help fine-tune services early so that life gets easier for everyone as soon as possible.

Take Inventory of Your Resources

Writing down the people, places, skills, and resources you have currently and the ones you need to fill in can help you know what to utilize and search for while you wait for treatment to start. You can take inventory by asking questions like:

• Who is someone you can lean on, whether that’s a friend, a sibling, or a therapist? Who can you call and tell how you’re really feeling?
• How much time and finances do you have to give, and what boundaries do you need to put in place to not push past that?
• What are your coping skills?
• Where are the places that are good distractions for you?
• What activities give you a sense of relief and relaxation?
• What additional support do you and your loved one need that isn’t currently being met, and who can you turn to to get more answers and help?

Care for you too

During this transitional time, what are some small ways you can make time to recharge yourself? Whether that’s seeing a movie, getting together with a friend for dinner, or having a good book you’re looking forward to at the end of the day.

Some self-care ideas

• “I’ll ask my sister to cover so I can take a couple hours for myself every Sunday”
• “I’ll tell my mom I can’t do the pharmacy run every week and will suggest a different plan.”
• “I’ll call that respite service or support group, just to see what it’s like.”
• “I’ll go on a 30-minute walk each morning with my phone off.”

Building a support system

Self-care alone is not enough to prevent caregiver burnout. Individual self-care strategies such as deep breathing, a short walk, or journaling can all help in the moment, but they cannot fix ongoing overload. You need a team.

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Respite Care: Someone steps in so you can step out, rest, and recharge.

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Adult Day Programs: Many communities have a senior center that has daily activities. If you’re having trouble finding what’s available in your area, a care manager or social worker can help.

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Care Managers: A care manager helps guide you in coordinating doctors, benefits, and next steps.

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Support Groups: A space where you don’t have to explain. Where “I’m so tired” is met with “me too,” not “but have you tried yoga?” Some organizations you can look for near you are NAMI, the Alzheimer’s Association, or your local hospital. There are support groups online too, which are great because they require no travel and no pressure.

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Therapy for Your Loved One: Having a professional take on a large part of the emotional burden for your loved one and for you can help everyone get through a rough time.

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Therapy for You: A place to unpack the grief, guilt, and stress — not because you’re “not coping,” but because you’re human. Ask your doctor for a referral, check with your insurance about your benefits and in-network providers, or search online. You don’t need a crisis to deserve support. Author Health also includes therapy services for caregivers of those we serve.

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Family Meetings: A chance to share the load — to say, “I can’t do this alone,” and have others step in. You can call, send a message, or pick a time and invite everyone in person. If it feels heavy, ask a care manager or counselor to help guide it. You don’t have to take on everything alone.

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Virtual Support: Moving part of your loved one’s care to virtual support can save you and them time and effort. Whether that’s counseling, refilling prescriptions, or asking medical questions, meeting over the phone or over video can add convenience to both of your lives.

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Home Health Aides: Hands-on help with bathing, meals, meds — so you’re not the only one doing it all. Medicare may cover some services if your loved one is homebound and needs skilled care. Medicaid, VA benefits, long-term care insurance, or private pay are other paths. Ask their doctor for a referral or check with insurance to see how to get started.

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Acknowledge this is hard and this is temporary

Caring for someone you love while services are put in place is stressful. You’re making a lot of calls, meeting a lot of new people you’re trusting, and processing the change in how someone you love can care for you and themselves. It is heavy, and it will not be like this forever. Keep asking for help, and this will get better.